Prozac-tarian

Not so long ago, I was diagnosed as having dysthymia. Dysthymia, according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder, is a considered a chronic depression with less severity than major depressive disorder. And this diagnosis came from a professional, a colleague. I was having all the symptoms the manual described. She wanted to put me on Prozac. The word Prozac sounded scarier than the diagnosis itself. I was a little reluctant. She made an analogy, it would be like people with hypertension or diabetes, who would have to be on medication for the rest of their lives. And it is so coincident that, I just hear that analogy again on radio as I am writing this. She sensed my reluctantness and suggested I looked into insight meditation, Vippassana meditation, however, she still prescribed me with 3 months supply of Prozac. I took one and the rest was sort of donated to a friend who kept bugging me to let him try it and I never knew if he really took them.

It is very hard living with dysthymia. It is a struggle everyday. I often heard about the emotional roller coaster, but going through it is not the same as hearing about it. The feeling is hard to describe. You are constantly bogged down by this feeling of unhappiness which you are awared of but helpless. You whine perpetually about a life which is going well. Every infinitesimal things are blown up way beyond proportion. It seems like you have to find something to put the blame on. And your friends and maybe even your family are on the verge of giving up listening to you.

I am wondering now if i could have done better listening to my colleague and taken Prozac. The feeling has been exhausting and it is particularly so now. I think I need help but could the help be coming from me alone?..........